God: The Interview Read online

in!......You want me to keep going? We’d better keep going or we’ll be lynched.......” I resume my seat. “Jesus” hasn’t moved. The camera fades in.

  01.47.14

  ME: Tonight I’m talking to God and we will keep going for as long as we can. But you were right. There are crowds outside—

  GOD: You will be safe until I say my last word. Then I’ll be gone—

  ME: Back to Jerusalem?

  GOD: Back on the road TO Jerusalem.

  ME: (LAUGHING) How can you possibly be in two places at once?

  GOD: I am everywhere, and at all times. You should have brought in far more security guards. You should send him out as well. (HE INDICATES THE CURTAIN. I NOD, CATCH THE EYE OF THE INVISIBLE GUARD, AND WITH MY HEAD SEND HIM OFF TOWARDS THE FRONT DOOR.)

  ME: So are you winning? Do you have Satan on the ropes yet? Or are you ready to concede victory to him in this pagan Christless world?

  GOD: We are exactly where we expected to be at this stage of the history of the Earth—

  ME: Nothing out of place? Nothing unexpected—my God what was that? (THE SOUND OF SMASHING GLASS)

  GOD: I think a window has been pushed in.

  ME: You are very calm.

  GOD: I’ve slept through stormier seas than this.

  ME: So what do you want from us? For us all to become Christians, that’s obvious, but you’ll have to be disappointed in an old heathen like me. Your act is good—VERY good. But you are not God and it’s just a gimick, right? You’d better fess up before someone gets hurt—seriously hurt!

  GOD: What I want is for my Christians to pray. Pray without ceasing. Pray day and night. Preferably pray in tongues—in our Holy Ghost prayer language, but even in English, pray! I can’t just act on my own. I need to be asked and asked and asked before I can act—

  ME: Why would that be? And why would prayers make any difference?

  GOD: We gave the world to you humans. Satan tricked you out of it. Legally it is his but morally it is still in many ways yours. We don’t have the right to invade what is legally Satan’s territory. But we do have the right if the morally rightful owners invite us in. But there’s a battle. Satan has the right to block us and oppose us. Read Daniel chapter 10. So often your prayers are heard from the first time you pray, but you give up. Pray pray pray—

  ME: The Earth is legally Satan’s territory? Where in the Bible does it say that?

  GOD: Listen. Suppose you build a house, then legally sign it over to your children, who then are tricked into signing it over to a fraudster. Could you, the original owner, then go and reclaim it?

  ME: Of course not.

  GOD: The law backs the title-deeds, right? For as long as the fraudster’s name is on the title-deeds, he has legal right to do what he likes to what was once your house, and I can only stand and watch.

  ME: And give my kids hell!

  GOD: God found himself in exactly that situation. God made the world: The Bible says, “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth”. God gave the Earth to the human race: The Bible says: “The heavens are the Lord’s heavens, but he has given the earth to the sons of man.” Man was tricked into handing God’s gift of the Earth over to Satan: The Bible says: “Don’t you know that if you submit yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey”—

  ME: Too much! Too much Bible!

  GOD: Romans chapter 6 verse 16—

  ME: And which translation?

  GOD: Genesis 3 records this attack on your first parents, and its success. The first humans betrayed this world into the hands of Satan. Satan even boasted of this to me, and I did not contradict him: The Bible records this: “And the devil took him up and showed him all the kingdoms of the world in a moment of time, and said to him, “All this authority and their glory I will give you, for it has been betrayed to me, and I give it to whoever I wish. If you will worship me, it all will be yours.”

  ME: Did you worship him?

  GOD: No!

  ME: Why not?

  GOD: Worship Satan? You expect me to answer that? Answer it for me.

  ME: An infinitely perfect God wouldn’t—

  GOD: Exactly. Far from disputing Satan’s claim of authority over the world, I confirmed it, three times calling Satan “the prince of this world”.

  ME: That’s in the Bible?

  GOD: The Gospel of John. My Apostle Paul, through my Holy Spirit, even called Satan “the god of this world”, so completely is my enemy in control of what once was mine and once was yours.

  ME: I thought God was in charge of the world?

  GOD: Of course I could take the world back by might. Satan’s power is no match for all-power. But that would break my own eternal principle: “For God never takes back his gifts or his callings—”

  ME: More Bible I guess—

  GOD: Romans 11:29. No matter how badly we see a gift misused, once we give it, it stays given. World-rule was given to man, and it is for man to win it back, which was a major reason why the Son of God had to become the son of man.

  ME: What was that crash? Another window?

  GOD: This is why I now ever live to make intercession for you humans. My prayers are now so powerful because as God/man I have absolute authority over the world as both its creator and inheritor. I am the head, but you as the body of Christ have your essential part to play. And through my prayers blended with yours an irresistible process is taking place that will culminate on that day when “the kingdoms of this world have become the kingdoms of our Lord and of His Christ, and He shall reign forever and ever”!

  ME: Halleluyah! We may have to vacate—

  GOD: So, to return to the analogy of the builder and his children: the builder is without rights and therefore helpless except for one thing: he can go to his children and persuade them to take a court case against the fraudster. It will be costly and involve much talking and pleading and a great deal of effort, but with right on their side they must eventually win, so long as they don’t quit. It was the children who were tricked out of their inheritance, so, in law, only they can initiate the courtcase. The father hasn’t the right to. So with you.

  ME: Can you hear that mob outside?

  GOD: I told you they would come. Don’t worry. They can’t get in until I have finished.

  ME: So you said. How comforting—

  GOD: I strongly persuade you to take “heavenly courtcases” even using a courtroom parable involving a fraudster: Luke 18:1-7 “it is essential to always pray and never give up” - “and won’t God vindicate his own chosen ones who cry to him day and night?” I even provide my own lawyer for you, the Holy Spirit, paid for at an immense price: my own blood. This lawyer will, if you allow him, run your courtcase for you even providing the words to say, perfect words you won’t understand, words that will win your courtcase for you—

  ME: You’re a crank! You’re talking about freakish speaking in tongues!

  GOD: I even show you a successful prayer “courtcase” in Daniel chapter 10. I sent my answer immediately, but Satan has the right to block it, because this is his world. But because of Daniel’s prayer and fasting, angel reinforcement enables the answer to eventually get through. If Daniel had stopped praying before the answer arrived, the case would have been lost.

  ME: Folks, we’re going to have to vacate any minute. Sorry.

  GOD: It took Daniel three weeks of prayer and fasting to pray the answer through. Not all prayer “courtcases” take as long, but most take much longer—

  ME: Yes, well we won’t be here much longer—

  GOD: The police have the crowd under control—

  ME: How would you know that?

  GOD: The same way I knew there would be a crowd—

  ME: A lucky guess!

  GOD: Your main job on Earth is to accumulate through prayer sufficient moral right for God to act. This is obviously the greatest task a human being can accomplish: to morally empower God to do his will upon earth as it is done in Heaven.
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br />   ME: Your screen may go blank at any time. It’s us. It’s not your TV—

  GOD: But if you decide not to pray, I cannot intervene, no matter how much I want to: As Ezekiel 22:30-31 proves, “And I sought for a man among them who should build up the wall and stand in the gap before me for the land, that I should not destroy it; but I found none. Therefore I have poured out my indignation upon them, I have consumed them with the fire of my wrath...”

  ME: How about a bit of wrath on those who are trying to get at you?

  GOD: I looked for a prayer warrior, an intercessor, in fact anyone to take on my burden, my “courtcase.” The nation deserved huge punishment, but I never want to punish. I long to bless, not hurt. Just one more prayer warrior could have averted the deserved national punishment, as Amos once proved: “The Lord God showed me this: Look! the Lord God was calling for a judgment by fire, and it ate up the great sea, and was consuming the land. Then I said, “O Lord God stop! I beg You! How can Jacob stand, he’s so tiny?” God changed His mind about this: “This also won’t happen,” said the Lord God.” That’s Amos 7:4-6.

  ME: When my manager gives the nod, we must go—immediately—

  GOD: I’ve nearly finished—

  ME: Thank God! It’s a long time since I’ve heard a sermon and now I know why—

  GOD: God often shows people things so they will pray. If it is a blessing, to pray it into being as Daniel did, or a judgement, to pray it away as Amos did. But in Ezekiel’s case God found no one to pray, so, against God’s wishes, judgment fell on the land.

  ME: Get ready to go. Sorry folks. A mob has formed outside and is attempting to invade this studio to get at God here, probably to tear him limb from limb—

  GOD: “You don’t have because you don’t keep on asking” said James. This means not only you miss out but so do I. Many times you pray for things I want far more than you do, but because you are not prepared to battle it through to completion in prayer, we all miss out.

  ME: This station is going off the air! Sorry folks. Any moment now. Not our fault—

  GOD: This is why prayer is the most crucially important activity on earth, the best possible use of your time, and the call to pray the greatest of all callings. This is why God needs every Christian to “Pray without ceasing.” Pray Pray P—

  AFTERWARNED

  The lights flicker then go out and dimly come back on. I am out of my seat and I can hear several footsteps in the hall. There is a back way—I turn to ”Jesus” and shout “Follow me!” He has risen and follows as I grab mikes and cable and the Boss comes in and grabs what he can of our most valuable equipment. It is then I turn back to “Jesus” but he’s gone. I’m always asked, but who knows where? It’s every man for himself and we’re running down the back hall and down the stairs where an always locked door is already open and I can see our cars but the crowd is at the main back door and not many have discovered this back way yet but they will. As I elbow my way through a man is standing by a wheelchair shouting “I’m healed! I can stand! I touched the wall and I felt the power surge through my legs!” One shouted, “Which board?” but already some were attacking the wall with pocket knives. I don’t hesitate. I’m into my car and gone.

  I turn on TV and I watch for hours while the place is wrecked. They could put the whole police force on duty around it but you can’t stop fanaticism of that callibre. Within three days only the dust is left and soon that is being scooped up and flown all round the globe as reports of healings pour in from all over the world. The power of auto-suggestion! The unbelievable gullibility of the human race!

  Any day now he will turn up and will not be able to hide his face. He has an assured future as a film star so he shouldn’t be afraid to reveal who he is. He’s a very good actor, I’ll give him that. But that’s all I’ll give him. That was not God. Believe me, there was no aura, no glow, no authority, no command, no nuthin. Stop making such fools of yourselves, you human race! Believe me, believe me, I could makes heaps of money saying that he was, but he wasn’t. Believe me—THAT WAS NOT GOD.